When Jeff and I were first married we were watching a movie, I can't remember the name of it, but there was a part in the movie where the family was sitting around the dinner table and they each took a turn talking about what the best and the worst parts of their day were. I can remember turning to Jeff and saying, "When we have kids, I totally want to do that!"
Let's take a look back, shall we...
When I was growing up, my family hardly ever had a sit down meal. We did have a very nice dining room table, but it was mostly used as a collect-all of stuff. Every once in a while, the table would get cleaned off and we did sit down together and eat as a family. With six kids, going every which way, sitting down all together was really almost impossible. My friends would then talk about always having to be home at a certain time for dinner, and that was just foreign to me. What was so important about dinner time? Looking back, I think my family really missed out on something special.
Enter our children...
As Kailee and Evyn got to be in school, I thought back to that movie that Jeff and I watched years before. I can remember telling Jeff that we really need to do something like that with our girls. (Jeff had a bit of a different upbringing than me as it came to dinner time. They would usually sit down together as a family for dinner, and with eight kids, I'm sure that wasn't easy. I don't know if they really spent that time getting to know one another better, but it was what they tried to do. Having a sit down dinner has always been something that Jeff knew was important.) Since that day we instituted the High/Lows at dinner time. We would go around the table and each one of us would share the best thing and the worst thing that happened that day. Powerful! It's so simple, but I think that our family has had more in depth conversations around the dinner table then anywhere else. My girls have learned to talk and listen to one another, they have been problem solvers, they have been able to give advice to one another, they have been able to say that they already know what one of their sister's highs or lows are, they have been able to giggle and sympathize, and they have been able to see that mom an dad have problems that they are working on too. The best thing for me, especially as my girls are getting older, is that we can talk openly together as a family.
I absolutely love that my girls are so willing to talk about their day. I love that they look forward to sharing their life with Jeff and I. Jeff and I don't even have to bring up high/lows, it's one of the first things they want to do after the prayer has been said. It almost becomes a bit of a fight to go first. :) I truly believe that children want to share their life, even teenagers. My girls know that their thoughts and feelings matter and I'm so thankful that they are willing to share their lives so openly with me.
My "High" today is knowing that I have 5 (almost 6) little ladies to share my life with, and my "low" today... well, I just can't think of one right now.
ReplyDeleteLove this! Growing up, even when we didn't eat together due to various sports and activities my mom would always ask for "the favorite part of your day." I think the fact that it was always too hard to pick just one is a testament to my really great childhood, and it always made for great discussion.
ReplyDeleteMy kids love Highs/Lows too! Adam is even getting the grasp of it and saying things like, "My favorite part of today was the park!" Great way to keep lines of communication open and to help kids express and understand their feelings.
ReplyDeleteHave I mentioned I'm so glad you have a blog now?! We do high/low talk at dinnertime too. Sometimes on a Saturday or Sunday if we've spent the whole day together we try to guess each other's highs and lows. It's pretty fun.
ReplyDeleteI think we've already talked about this, but my kids love highs/lows too after Brandon was introduced to it this past May while staying at your house. So thank you for that :) We are not as consistent as we should be though and will usually do it at night when the kids go to bed. Love that Brandon chose to adopt this tradition from you though!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post, you've renewed my hope to bring the highs and lows to the dinner table. We haven't had much luck with it. But, I'm guess consistency is the key.
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